


Memories

by sunnymatsu



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Canon Continuation, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2018-12-11 12:58:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11714871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnymatsu/pseuds/sunnymatsu
Summary: -- VERY SPOILER-HEAVY. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED PERSONA 5 ENTIRELY. --Goro was last seen in the Metaverse- in Shido's palace. When you die in the Metaverse, does your true self die too?(Post-canon exploring Goro Akechi's return and redemption- and his relationship with Akira.)





	1. Prologue

_"Pull over."_

"What!?"

"C'mon, you heard the guy! _Pull over!"_

"W-why are we pulling over!?"

"Haru, dude, I don't fuckin know-- just ask this guy, okay!?"

"U-um, Akira, why do we need to pull over?"

_"Please."_

"Wh-That's not a reason!! Haru asked for a **reason**!"

"Futaba, let's interrogate him **AFTER** I pull over."

"You'd better have a good reason for this, Joker."

"Morgana, you don't need to call him that anymore!"

"I know, but... _it's fun."_ Morgana lashes his tail from side to side as the group's van skids to a halt on the edge of the road.

Yusuke leans over to look Akira in the eyes. "Akira, are you feeling alright? You seemed quite urgent with your request."

"Yeah, man, you OK? If you stall for too long your parents're gonna get worried."

_"...No, they won't."_

"Huh- Sure they will, wouldn't they--"

_"Have you ever seen them message me?"_

"W-well, no, but--"

_"Remember them immediately sending me away as soon as they could?"_

"Ah.... oh.... Dude, I'm sorry..."

"Is... Is there anything we can do to help?"

_"..."_

"Are you okay? I-I know how it feels to doubt your parents, but..."

"Yes, are you sure you're feeling okay...? I... also know that feeling... though it may be a bit different for you..."

_"Can we turn around and go home?"_

"Huh- we **are** going to your 'home'--"

"Wait, I think he means... _the place he has finally felt at home..."_

_"I want to see my dad."_

"What!? Dude, I thought you wanted to head back!? Make up your mind--"

"Ryuji, he means **OUR** dad! ...He always calls Sojiro 'dad' for some reason."

_"It's because he's my dad."_

"Okay, if I take this exit I can loop around and get back on the highway here..."

"Well, if Sojiro is willing to take him back in, there doesn't seem to be any problems with this plan..."

"Hold on, Akira! Are you sure your parents won't care if you stay?"

_"I'm certain, Ann."_

"Goddammit, why'd you make us drive all the way out here in the first place!? We could've been having lunch at the ramen place or somethin' by now!"

_"I'm sorry."_

"Aw, dude, I didn't mean..."

"Ryuji! You just made our leader even MORE upset!"

"Oh, shut up, furball!"

"Guys, stop fighting! We've got to be supportive. For Akira!"

At Ann's words, the car was started up again and Makoto began maneuvering back onto the road.

Akira was feeling better already, it seemed- but his face was still somewhat downcast. " _At least... I don't have the **worst** parental situation..."_

"Yeah, that's gotta go to- wait, like half of you guys have dead parents. Shit, I'm sorry."

"It's probably me, right? I mean, I DID get an entire palace because of my mom..."

"Yeah, but she wasn't really bad, that was just your perception... I'm gonna vote for Haru. That was just terrible all around."

_"What? I didn't mean any of **US** had the worst parents--"_

"I don't know anyone else in a worse situation than me... Though I feel very sorry for them, whoever they are."

"Same here. Who're ya talkin' about?"

_"What do you mean you don't know? He-"_

"Is it me? I'll have you know that I do NOT view Madarame as any form of a father figure, so--"

"I haven't talked about my parents too much, but--"

"Is it Mishima? I didn't hear about his parents, but you seem pretty close with him--"

"Is it--"

_**"It's Goro Akechi!"**_

"..."

**"Who?"**

The question comes as a chorus from every Phantom Thief save for Akira himself, who is taken aback by the response.

_"Th-the detective, he... He was our teammate..."_

"He... what?"

"I'm trying to... remember..."

The realization hits them like a harsh tidal wave crashing onto the beach.

_**"GORO AKECHI!"**_

"Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot..."

"That bastard! I completely..."

"Oh dear, and after everything that happened..."

**"He sacrificed himself to stop Shido!?"**

The emotions were hitting them all at once- each Thief felt a horrific mix of grief, anger, and regret.

The Metaverse still existed. That much was for sure. The human race could not live without its desires, its cognition.

There were still _traces_ of the past all around- traces of when cognition fused with reality.

And, as the Thieves remembered...

_Something special happened._

The mere eight of them remembering **Goro Akechi,** erased from the world by the Metaverse, had power in itself. And, as they remembered, **the world did too.**

It was a strange effect, to be sure. The memory spread slowly, hitting everyone over time. For some it was no more than a gentle reminder as they put away their groceries or sort the apps on their phone- for some it was earth-shattering, causing cars to skid to a halt and frantic google searching. For reporters, it was exciting- finally, a good story! The memory of Goro Akechi spread across the nation, affecting students, workers, politicians...

_And then the effect reaches Goro himself._


	2. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being forgotten feels... Empty.
> 
>  
> 
> Well, that's not entirely true. It doesn't 'feel' like anything. You don't have your senses, you don't have your mind- you're still there, but... you don't...-- ah, that's it.
> 
> To be forgotten is to be nothing, feel nothing, know nothing. Being forgotten IS nothing.
> 
> So when you are exposed to this infinite nothing- no, when you are this infinite nothing...
> 
> And when, after being nothing for so long, you're suddenly thrown back into existence- and your senses snap back to action...
> 
> Well, you'll see in a moment.

 

Goro would have screamed, if he could have. He would have yelled, pounded at the ground beneath him, pleaded for forgiveness and for hatred and to be able to go back, back to when he didn't have to experience the world. He would have, if his body weren't reeling, out of control, shaken, pained, agonizing.

 

The rough concrete beneath him burned, cold and stinging and sharp. The fabric of his once-comfortable shirt, sweater, and pants now felt like a thousand razor blades stitched together, slicing and tearing at his skin with every touch. The wind blowing through the air sent chills down his spine, though he felt overheated all the same. He could hear cars racing by, people chattering and their footsteps as they walked past; every sound seemed as though it was amplified through a thousand speakers, garbled and deafening. He tries opening his eyes- and he closes them reflexively as he feels a stinging pain as though he was staring at the sun itself. His senses scream like a chorus of banshees.

 

And so- though Goro would have screamed, he could only cough and groan in agony. He could only reach out desperately, feel his way across the scathing concrete, hoping for something to grab onto. He could only barely comprehend when his hands came into contact with his briefcase. He could only pull the briefcase towards himself, holding it close. He could only trace his fingers along its edges, breathing slowly and heavily, connecting himself with the one thing that didn't overwhelm him in a world of deafening noise and unbearable pain.

 

The smooth leather was cold to the touch, but not painfully so- he runs his hands along it once, twice... it's calming. It brings him back. The screaming and the pain die down, and his mind- disassembled, erased, and thrown back together in what seemed to be an instant- recovered. As his senses adjust to the sudden change- their sudden reappearance, he undergoes a series of emotions.

 

I'm... back...?

 

Confusion.

 

I'm back!

 

Excitement.

 

I'm... back.

 

Regret.

 

He looks down at the briefcase in his hands, feeling sick as he sees the custom-made 'A' logo engraved onto it; a gruesome reminder of his past actions. On impulse, he throws the case to the ground by his side. The thump it makes is far from satisfying, but it's enough to find some amount of solace. There wasn't anything useful in that briefcase, anyways. It was just for show.

 

Thinking back, his heart aches, and he grits his teeth- but he has more important matters to attend to. Like the fact that he's lying on the ground in some alleyway off the streets of god-only-knows-where. He stands up, wobbly but stable, and glances around his surroundings once more.

 

His heart sinks as he realizes that he's just next door to the place he'd hated so much, and, he notes with distaste- the last place he'd been before entering the palace. The palace that, in the end, he had never left. Er, until now? He'd figure that out later. For now he dusts himself off a bit and sets out in the opposite direction- not sure where he's going, but anywhere is better than here.

 

His disheveled hair, (he assumed) tired and dirty face, and general change in demeanor seemed to serve well enough to avoid being recognized, at least for the moment- a fact he regarded gratefully. This was certainly not the time for a conversation with a fan, or, he guessed, an enemy.

 

He boards a train, head still reeling slightly. Where should I go...? He wonders as the train lurches forward and he's bumped slightly into the crowd surrounding him. He glances up to apologize to a lady in a fur coat who he seemed to have thrown off balance a bit- but his eye is caught by the small television showing near the top of the train. As he squints his eyes at the screen, his suspicions are confirmed- the television was currently showing a news channel- and the news channel was currently displaying a large photo of his face, the word "missing" splayed across it in bright red lettering.

 

Feeling panic rush through him, Goro covers his face with his hand, and looks down to the floor.

 

How long was I gone...?

 

In that moment, he knows his destination. Though he used to love it there, though the thought of going there now made him shiver, there's only one place with even a chance of taking him- only one place safe, only one place that can hide him from whatever search was occurring. Only one place was secluded, calming, and welcoming enough for him to go, now.

 

He just had to hope that the man who had taken such good care of Akira would show mercy now.


	3. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding a home somewhere you've been but never belonged isn't easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE GUYS buthere take this i promise youll get the Good Good Akira/Goro content next chapter

Sojiro's hands follow the movements he's been repeating for years- no, decades, at this point. The TV's news channel hums in the background as he makes yet another pot of coffeee. The lack of customers was a shame- but Sojiro did appreciate the silence that came with an empty cafe.

Yet the emptiness was broken as the door to the cafe creaked open. Sojiro, still hard at work, doesn't look up as he speaks, his voice gruff. "Welcome. Feel free to sit wherever you like."

"Er, I'm not exactly... a customer, per se..."

Sojiro looks up.

"The police are hot on the trail of Goro Akechi, reported missing only hours earlier." The television chimes.

"You...?"

Sojiro had never forgotten. How could you not remember someone who's face you saw every day, who was talked about on every street- someone who was looked up to and revered by the general public who, despite it all, had no idea that he had tried to kill your son? How on earth could you forget someone who had planned to put a gun to your own son's head from the very beginning?

Sojiro's eyes narrow as he regards the false detective. The boy seemed... different, now. More meek, less elegant, and... was he shivering? But Sojiro remembered all too well that looks could be deceiving, especially when it came to Akechi.

"Get out."

"N-no, wait, please at least let me talk-"

"GET. OUT."

Goro takes a step back. He should have expected this. He was a detective, for god's sake- but, in the end, that was a ruse.

A ruse, a lie... he's changed, now. His thought-to-be-final moments of redemption hang heavy in his mind. He's changed.

"Sir. Please listen to me."

Sojiro stops squinting his eyes in anger for a moment, just a moment- and finds himself unable to furrow his brow once more.

The boy he sees before him isn't the confident detective who had appeared on TV so many times, the one who charmed so many and used his manipulative ways to get to the top. No, this boy was... scared, out of his element...

He hated even thinking it, but... The once-suave detective now reminded him of his daughter.

Perhaps this is why he relented. Perhaps he was just showing sympathy. Whatever the reason, Sojiro sighs and rests his arms on the bar.

"Fine. I'll hear your side of the story. But don't expect kindness from me."

Goro's eyes shine, and he tears up a little- he's gotten his chance! Just this one shot could mean everything.

"T-Thank you, sir, I..."

He twitches slightly as he realizes- he's failed to plan out his speech. He'd always done this, before- repeating each word in his head until the time to speak it arrived. He fumbles for words.

"I don't have all day, kid."

"I'm sorry-..."

I'm sorry. It was the answer. It was the ONLY answer for everything he had done.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll say it as many times as I need to, I just... I need to ask something of you, one last time... I understand if you're unwilling, but I'll do anything I can to convince you. I'm sorry. I- I was wrong, I was selfish, I was violent, I... I know you won't believe me, but... I've changed."

Sojiro raises an eyebrow, letting out a quiet "Hmph." He doesn't want to believe it, but he can't shake the thought that he doesn't know the full story. He never really understood all the 'Metaverse' stuff in the first place, but... With Goro's story, he was especially lost. He knew the detective had manipulated his children and everyone they came to see as friends. He knew the detective was the one who betrayed the Phantom Thieves. He knew.... what else? At some point Goro had stopped appearing on TV, stopped having featured interviews in every magazine... One day, it all just ended.

Too many parts were missing. There was only one way to decipher this story.

Sojiro stands up tall, grunting as his back creaks. He really was getting old. Nonetheless, he turns away from the detective. "I'll be right back. Sit down- or at least stop standing in the doorway like a frightened squirrel. That look doesn't suit you."

He steps off into the kitchen for a moment, and Goro can hear the opening of drawers and grumbling of "Where did I put--" and "Could've sworn I'd...". He doesn't know what to think. He hesitantly takes a seat at the bar, already flinching when the seat's cushion wheezes as he sits. He'd been to this cafe many times before, but the atmosphere today was far different. The cafe he had once seen as a warm, comfortable, inviting haven had now become what almost felt like a prison. The cold marble of the bar was where he was to be interrogated. He knew all too well the process of incrimination, and he knew that he would one day be at the other end, but now...

Sojiro walks back into the room, plopping a thick notebook onto the bar. "I was gonna wait a while to crack this open, but now I guess I ought to check."

Goro's eyes widen, a bit. He recognizes this notebook. Akira had stopped many a time to jot something down. Why did Sojiro have it, now? He shivers a bit. What was Akira writing...?

Sojiro is silent- he opens the book from the back page rather than the front, and skims past a few empty pages to glance over the last few entries.

"Today was Valentine's Day. I took a walk with Ryuji but Ann + Makoto saw us so we turned around..."

_"...It seems like things are okay again. I miss him, though..."_

_"...Today, in Shido's palace..."_

Jackpot.

_"...We found Goro. He finally told us the truth, but..."_

_"...He's so scared, I can tell. I know how he feels..."_

_"...He was locked behind the wall with all the shadows. He told us to be brave. He told us to stop this..."_

_"...I hope he comes back."_

He couldn't truly deny it, now. Though Akira tended to be drawn to troublemakers and outcasts, Sojiro had seen time and time again that the boy had only the best taste in who he would approve of. His sense of justice was too strong. But if Akira saw good in this detective, even after all the deceit and betrayal, then...

"Hmph. So, what was that 'favor' you were talking about, kid? Spit it out already."

Goro jumps a bit. "Huh? Oh, um... I know it's a lot to ask, but..."

The news channel playing in the background hums out a "Goro Akechi's briefcase found in an alley near the Diet Building! This case is on it's way to being solved!"

"I... I really need a place to hide."

Sojiro grunts. Taking in a teenaged criminal who ends up hiding out in his attic... This was all too familiar.

"There's a room upstairs. You've been in it before."

"W-wait, really?"

"Yeah, whatever. But make sure you clean the place up. I don't want any freeloaders."


	4. Welcome Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is returning to something new really returning at all?

  
"May we go with you, Akira? I am feeling a bit peckish, and curry sounds quite nice at the moment..."

"I'd like some alone time."

"A-Ah, okay."

"Hey, I live with you! Can I come with?"

"You live in Sojiro's house, not the cafe."

"Well yeah, but still!"

"If you're going alone, I'll sit this out and stay with Lady Ann! The cafe is really stuffy."

"You don't need to single me out, Morgana..."

"This is as close as we're gonna get, I think. The road past here is a little too narrow to fit the van into..."

"It's okay. I can walk. Goodbye."

Akira nudges the door open with his shoulder and hops down to the street. He doesn't react much when Futaba's feet hit the ground next to him. "I'm coming with you whether you like it or not!" "Hm."

"Bye! See ya soon, man!" Akira smiles as Ryuji yells through the sound of a revving engine. It was already starting to feel okay again. No matter how many years of his life he had spent elsewhere, Tokyo was really the place he felt at home. Really sounded cliché now that he thought about it, though. His sister skipped next to him as he turned a corner to see LeBlanc. Somehow, despite the big-city atmosphere, the air felt clearer here. He could breathe easy at the cafe. He was safe.

"What're you standing around for? Is this your idle animation?" Futaba, forever enthusiastic, swings the old wooden door open. "Lets go! Family reunion: Start!"

The cafe is empty.

Futaba lets the door close slightly. Yep, the sign says 'Open'. She peers in again.

"Sojirooo? We're home!"

"Huh? Futaba?"

"Sojiro!"

There's a few awkward _clunks_ and Sojiro comes thumping down the stairs. "Futaba, I'm- Oh. Oh, today is full of too many damn surprises. Kid, your probation is over, isn't it? Shouldn't you be out of town by now?"

"My mom sucks."

"Hmph. Guess that's as good a reason as any. You sure I won't get in any legal trouble if I keep you here?"

"No more than you have already."

"Well, I... okay, good point, but. Er.... You might have to share your room for a bit..."

"Wait, with who!? Did you replace this guy already? That's cold, Sojiro, even for you!"

Sojiro flinches slightly, and Futaba frowns. "Look, you were the... leader of that 'Phantom Thieves' thing, right?"

"In a way."

"Look, maybe... you should see this first."

Futaba pouts.

"I'm sorry, Futaba. I just think..."

"No, I get it! Go get 'em, main character."

"Hm. He's upstairs?"

"Yeah, he's... a tad skittish, though, so..."

"Gotcha."

Akira sets his bags down on a stool by the bar and begins climbing the stairs. Each step creaks beneath his feet. He had always preferred the aged architecture of these backstreets to the more modernized eateries one would find closer to Shibuya. This is home.

As he nears the top, he can hear the quiet hum of the old television he had bought. He'd felt no need to take it with him.

"The briefcase was found to be primarily empty, only containing a few wrappers from various foods. Forensic teams are inspecting them as we speak."

A sigh. As the steps groan once more beneath Akira's feet, the boy before him jolts. Eye contact drags on- too long or too short, neither could tell.

"He said you left..."

Akira says nothing.

Goro flinches. "I'm sorry-"

It takes him a few moments to notice the arms around him. A few more to register the meaning behind them. Many more to attempt a response.

"I-"

The arms around him tighten.

He cries.

Goro hasn't cried in years- if asked, he wouldn't know if he had ever cried at all. He'd never had a chance. Every moment of his life he'd been forced to stay quiet- to silence his emotions and paint over them. The feeling of wetness crawling down his cheeks is foreign to him- he doesn't understand why words won't come out, why his apologies sound like choked sobs, or why his eyes burn- but his confusion over his own actions was nothing compared to his confusion over Akira's. Why were those arms still pulling him close? Why-

_"It's okay."_

Why is he saying that?

Goro pulls away from the hug. He feels unsafe, exposed- his throat hurts too much, he can't keep his legs from shaking, and his head is reeling. This is too much.

He coughs. "I don't understand."

"You don't have to."

"I _do_."

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know."

"It's okay- not knowing."

"It's not. How do I-"

"Shh."

Akira pulls him back in.

"You're safe."

He feels anything but. Nobody holds him like this and means anything. Nobody sees him for what he is and does this. Nobody DOES this at all. He grasps for answers.

"Why are you... he said you left..."

"I came back."

_Came... back?_

...

"Me too."

Maybe that was all it was.

"Welcome back."


	5. Eraser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "there is still a road back. it might be rocky and steep, complicated and messy. walking it may take all your life. you may lose your foothold, slip and fall back into the abyss, but the wall is still there. the ascent is still there. hard is not the same as impossible.  
> you are never too far gone. you are never beyond saving. "
> 
> -notbecauseofvictories on tumblr

The day ends quietly. Akira thanks Sojiro, Futaba complains about not being allowed to meet the newcomer. "Why are you planning on showing him to someone else first? The other guys don't even live here!"  
The two boys sleep on the floor that night- Akira offers his bed to Goro, who refuses the gesture. The two of them might have remarked on it resembling a sleepover, if either had ever truly experienced one.   
At some point in the night, Morgana slips in.   
The boys may not have noticed this if not for it being accentuated by a high pitched shriek.  
"JOKER, THERES AN INTRUDER!"  
Goro screams. Morgana screams as well. Akira groans and rolls over.   
"JOKER!!"  
"Mmph."  
"JOKER WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR"  
"Mgngh."  
"JOKER- OH MY GOD IS THAT AKECHI?"   
Akira pulls a pillow over his ears.   
Goro just stares blankly. He hadn't realized- though it seemed painfully obvious now. How had he not considered that upon Akira's return, he would have to reunite with the other Phantom Thieves as well? "I-"  
"Get out of our house, you scoundrel-Ack!"  
A hand reaches out and grabs Morgana's collar, pulling him in. Akira proceeds to squeeze the cat tightly to his chest. "Agh, hey! Stop-That hurts, stop!"  
Strangely, the purring sound seemed to be coming from the non-feline of the two.  
Goro sighs. Of course this would happen. Akira was an outlier in everything he did, everything he thought... The Phantom Thieves, rebels though they were, would ultimately resent him for his actions just as everybody else would. That was just the truth.   
Morgana's yowls die off eventually, succumbing to the warmth of comfortable blankets and kind embraces. Akira hums quietly in his sleep. Goro breathes heavily, sitting at Akira's work desk with a scrap of paper and a broken pencil. He wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, anyway.  
\--  
"I invited Ryuji over, by the way. He should be here soon."  
"Ack-You what!?"  
Goro only stopped drifting from reality when Akira first spoke. It was sudden, too sudden... Little did he know, it was almost 2pm in the afternoon. As he speaks he rubs his hand on his face, feeling the uncomfortable texture that occurs when you rest your head on a bumpy surface for too long. "Why... When did you do that? Why? Why HIM? I'm... I'm not..."  
"It was last night. I want to tell him first."  
Morgana stretches out on the windowill. "You should have invited Lady Ann, not that imbecile. If you're gonna tell them one at a time, it's an even worse plan! You know how he is with secrets."  
"I trust him." Is all Akira replies.  
Goro, too drowsy for real panic, simply gazes down at the desk before him. The only thing of note is a small scrap of lined notebook paper, crumpled and smudged, featuring only a simple drawing of a hollow circle. Next to it rests a small yellow pencil, broken in half- it's only the eraser end, but there's enough led sticking out to be usable.  
"I should go."  
"Mm."  
"I-I should... I'm going. Goodbye."  
"Mmm... No."  
"What?"  
"It's safe here."  
"But I don't..."  
Goro glances back at the circle.  
"I have to show you something."  
Akira steps over to the desk silently. Morgana takes a more acrobatic approach, hopping the length from the window to the desk's shelves. "I need to make sure you don't try anything with our leader, Akechi."  
"I... I understand."  
Goro tap's the pencil's eraser on the circle's outline. "This is me. Or, anyone really, but in this case, me."  
"Why are you a circle?"  
"Hmm."  
Goro presses on. "And this," he scribbles inside the circle, "is evil." Flipping the pencil over, he erases, leaving only a shadow of graphite. "If you repent and make up for your wrongdoings, you can go back and be a good person again. But theres always... the ghost of what you've done." As he speaks he begins to scribble again, laying down layer after layer of darkness into the circle until it is near pitch black.  
"But..."  
His eraser squeaks on the paper.  
"When-" squeak "you're-" squeak "like-" squeak "ME,"  
There's a horrible sound as the eraser tears through the paper scrap, leaving a torn-apart circle still solidly covered in darkness.  
Goro closes his eyes.   
"You can't go back at all."  
Goro closes his eyes. Maybe now they would understand. He still had those thoughts, those urges, he was still the same. He was a murderer, a manipulator, and that would never change.   
With his eyes closed, Goro fails to notice as Akira reaches into a desk drawer and gets to work beside him.   
"Open your eyes."  
Before him, the paper has been taped back together. It's been flipped over, and another circle has been drawn on the opposite side. The intense amount of graphite below it shows through a decent amount, but the circle is ultimately clear.   
"I... don't understand."  
"You can always go back."  
"But... this doesn't really work, it makes no sense-"  
"Akechi, we're Phantom Thieves. Has ANYTHING we've done made sense?"  
"It's difficult. We're here to help."  
"I... I can't-"  
"Yoo, Akira! I'm here! What'd you wanna show me, dude?"  
Goro tenses up in panic. He wasn't ready. Ryuji always liked him the least of all- not to mention his temper and tendency to violence. As far as Goro was concerned, he was face to face with death itself. That metaphor doesn't work great when you've survived it before, though.   
Akira's already stepping down the stairs. Oh no. Morgana scampers down after him and Goro is alone with his thoughts. Oh no. He has to hide, he... he can't....   
There are no closets, no side rooms. He can't even consider going out the window. God.   
He can hear their voices.   
"He's upstairs."  
"'He'? Who's 'He'?  
"Classic Ryuji."  
"The hell do you mean by that, furball!?"  
Footsteps on the stairs. No, no, no, no....  
The three enter the room to see a boy with his head in his hands.   
"...Who's that? He looks..."  
Even Ryuji can catch on pretty quickly.  
"Oh shit. What the fuck. What the FUCK, man, I thought he- I thought he fuckin'..."  
Here it comes. Goro's hands clench his own hair tightly.   
"Dude... You okay?"  
What?  
That wasn't planned.   
That wasn't the right reaction.   
Goro looks up.   
"I seriously thought you died, dude... You seemed like you were goin' through a lot. I'm glad you're back."  
"No... You're not supposed to..."  
"Huh?"  
"I thought you fucking hated me!"  
Goro's feet slam onto the floor as he stands.   
"And-And that was RIGHT of you! Why are you turning things around? I'm a monster!"  
"Dude, you-"  
"Why don't you fucking hate me anym-"  
"DUDE! Chill for a goddamn second!"  
Akira and Morgana stay silent. They'd discussed this before.   
"Seriously, dude. I still think you're an ass, but that's not gonna fuckin' stop me from being a fuckin' nice person! You're just like us, man. People are a product of their environment, or whatever. You had a shit life and that's not your fuckin' fault! I punched a goddamn teacher-"  
"Don't act like you're on the same level as me. I killed people. I can't- you can't pretend I can go back! Just tell the truth!"  
"The truth is that you gotta stop bein' such a dick to yourself!"  
Goro grits his teeth. Ryuji doesn't know anything. You can't erase permanent marks.   
"Goro."  
"Akira- Akira, tell him he-"  
"Goro."  
Goro flinches back. Akira's eyes are like blades, cutting through his skin.   
"Dude..."  
"Goro. Ryuji is here to support you. You thought he was the most likely to hate you, right?-"  
"Wait, you thought that?"  
"-But he supports you. Which means we all will."  
"We've still got our eyes on you, though!"  
"Morgana, chill."  
Goro's eyes burn. He's practically powerless, now. There's no way to leave the physical world, no way to turn the planet on it's heels without ever being found out.   
He was stuck here.   
"You may be an ass, but you're our ass."  
...but maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all?  
"RYUJI!"  
"WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN-"  
...yeah, maybe it wouldn't be. 


	6. Stuttering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simply talking to others, holding a conversation... it seems one of the most simple parts of our lives. If it's so simple, why is it so difficult?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG WAIT!!! I'm back from the dead somewhat. Here's some stuff

Goro yawns.   
It had been a few days since the encounter with Ryuji- Goro had insisted on delaying meeting the others until he was ready, and Akira respected his terms.   
Today was the day they were all supposed to meet up, but...  
Goro yawns again, rubbing his face.   
Neglecting his own self-care was catching up to him.   
He'd woken up early again, a habit he'd been forced to develop because of his lifestyle. During these mornings, with Akira sleeping soundly, he'd taken to sitting at the room's desk, tracing the patterns in the wood with his finger.   
He doesn't have anything else to do, really. He doesn't want to wake Akira up, he no longer has a phone to fiddle with, and going downstairs alone just feels... wrong, somehow. Like breaking an unspoken rule.   
Morgana suddenly hops onto the desk in front of him, interrupting his train of thought. "A-ah," Goro stutters in quiet surprise.   
"Whatcha doin'?" Morgana's eyes trail from Goro's hand still on the table to his face.   
"Ah, well..."   
"There's nothing on the table. So what are you doing?"  
"W-well yeah, uh... I woke up early, and... um... yeah..."  
"Uh... I see..."  
That was awkward, they both think as they turn their eyes away from one another.   
They're both saved from the conversation by the jingle of a bell indicating someone had entered the café. Goro jolts at the sound, still easily startled. Oh right, he thinks, that was today...  
But wait...  
Why are they here so early!?  
A yell cuts off his train of thought- "I'm here!" - followed by, thankfully, only one pair of footsteps. Goro isn't sure he could handle more than one new person right now.   
Glancing over, he notices that Akira has woken up, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his glasses in silence.   
Noise from the stairwell catches his attention once again. "I had to come early, I live here! Plus I'm your sister, Akira, you have to let me meet the new guy first! I'm coming upstairs!"   
Akira pats Goro's shoulder gently as he passes by, heading downstairs to meet Futaba before having her come up. It's a silent reminder that Akira has his back, won't let anything bad happen to him. The feeling is... surprising. Goro isn't used to this kind of thing.  
Trying to brace himself mentally, he pushes the chair back a bit and listens for talking downstairs.   
"You have to promise to be nice."  
"When have I ever been mean!?"  
"And quiet. Don't make too many sudden moves."  
"Geez, did you get another stray cat!? You're gonna make Morgana jealous!"  
"Who're you calling a stray!?"  
"Where's dad?"  
"Huh? Oh, Sojiro? He's sleeping in a bit. I tried to, but I just couldn't wait. The suspense was killing me. Killing me, I say!"  
Laughing quietly, Akira turns to the stairs. "Okay, okay, I get it. Let's go, then."  
As the two reach the top floor, they see Goro still seated at the desk. He glances over with a smile and a wave. Akira's eyes widen slightly- why was he acting so calm, suddenly?  
"Hello again."  
"W-woah, it's him? Like actually, really him?..." Futaba's at a loss for words, shaken up by the sudden reveal, and concerned at the detective's demeanor. She's... apprehensive, about it. She had been willing to trust him again, she thought, but the way he smiled and held his hands neatly on the table was all too familiar from the... bad times.   
"Please, don't mind me, I'm just-"  
"You don't have to act like that, now. You can be yourself here."  
"Ghk--"  
Once again, Akira cuts down Goro's defenses in one fell swoop. He'd grown so used to acting, throughout his life... as he came back to reality after having disappeared, he was falling back into the old patterns already.   
"Ah, I..."  
Futaba is silent, surprised by how drastically Goro has changed in just those few seconds. Observing the drastic difference in how he acts now, she feels a new sort of connection. She's not used to feeling... such kinship, with others. Seeing another person shiver as they speak and avoid eye contact, despite the drastic differences between them, was somehow reassuring.   
"I-I'm glad to see you again, Akechi!"  
He looks up, still not good at... 'Being himself', as Akira said. "A-Ah, thank you... I'm glad to see you too." His words feel empty. Was that even true? His connections to the thieves- all the time they shared together, was fake, wasn't it? The thieves knew that, too. Would this even work? Shouldn't he just-  
His train of thought is interrupted by a pressure on his face. Jumping backwards, he sees Morgana, and infers that it must have been a paw touching his nose. "Hey, Earth to Akechi! She asked you a question!"  
"Eh? Uh, s-sorry, could you repeat it...?"  
"I said, we've still got some time til the others get here! Wanna play some games? Akira's got this one game, h-he's super great at it..."  
Futaba is struggling to stay energetic and social, but it's clear that she's truly trying her best to bond with him. Goro smiles sadly. Video games and friends alike were quite the rarity in his life. He glances over to Akira first, for confirmation, and is met with a sly smile and nod- a clear indicator of "C'mon, let's play!"  
"Sure. I'd love that."  
\--  
The next guest comes, eventually. People always say that time flies fast when you're having fun, but Goro never truly felt that- times like this, when he enjoys himself, take the longest. He's always on edge, waiting for the caveat. The drawback, this time, is in every time Futaba flinches when he moves, every time their silence becomes uncomfortable, and every time he could swear he saw Futaba scoot a bit farther away. It's the way Akira doesn't say a word as he stands and leaves to greet the newcomer. It's the fact that Akira leaves at all.   
Quiet voices rise from the bottom floor.   
"Yo, I hope I'm not too early! I wanted to get here 'fore the others, since I already know 'n all..."  
"You're not early. We've been waiting for five hours."  
"Wh- Seriously!?"  
"I was kidding."  
"Agh, thank god... Y'gotta make it more obvious when you're jokin', man!"  
"We were only waiting for _one_ hour."  
 _"That's still not any better!"_  
Ryuji and Akira's voices seem amplified by the stinging silence of Goro and Futaba upstairs- a silence that is promptly broken.   
"Eheh, you're just like me, huh..."  
"...hm?"  
"I mean- I-I can't really do anything without Akira around. I was j-just thinking you seem to be kinda... the same way..."  
Goro's taken aback, slightly. Was that really the case?  
"...yeah."  
The two awkwardly resume their silence- perhaps Akira really was the only thing keeping them sane.   
The silence helps them prepare themselves as two sets of footsteps ascend the stairs.   
"Hey, dude! Er- dudes! Didn't realize you were here, Futaba."  
"You really thought you'd get here before me? I live next door! I've been here for an hour!"  
"Wait, he wasn't kiddin' that time!?"  
"Did you think I was?"  
"Did _you_ think I could tell!?"  
A conversation starts, and Goro finds himself on the sidelines. This wasn't an interview. He couldn't plan out his responses to every question, couldn't anticipate anything, couldn't practice every line in his head before it had to be spoken. They were just... talking.   
"Hey, you good?"  
Ryuji, unexpectedly, is the first to notice when Goro turns away. Goro doesn't respond- trying to think of a response for so long that replying then would seem odd.   
"...is he okay?" Ryuji turns back to face the others, pointing awkwardly at Goro's back. Akira gets up and walks over to him. "Goro?"  
"P-please give me a moment!"  
Goro throws out a stock phrase- one he'd rehearsed for any time he was too overwhelmed. "Please give me a moment," he mutters quietly.   
Akira nods, glancing to the others and nodding towards the stairway. Ryuji and Futaba descend to the cafe floor, but Akira lingers for just a second.   
"We'll come back up when everyone's here. Is that okay?"  
"...Yes. That's fine."


End file.
